[MemorySSA] Fix def optimization handling

In order for more complex updates of MSSA to happen (e.g. those in
D45299), MemoryDefs need to be actual `Use`s of what they're optimized
to. This patch makes that happen.

In addition, this patch changes our optimization behavior for Defs
slightly: we'll now consider a Def optimization invalid if the
MemoryAccess it's optimized to changes. That we weren't doing this
before was a bug, but given that we were tracking these with a WeakVH
before, it was sort of difficult for that to matter.

We're already have both of these behaviors for MemoryUses. The
difference is that a MemoryUse's defining access is always its optimized
access, and defining accesses are always `Use`s (in the LLVM sense).

Nothing exploded when testing a stage3 clang+llvm locally, so...

This also includes the test-case promised in r340461.

llvm-svn: 340577