[TTI] Add DemandedElts to getScalarizationOverhead

The improvements to the x86 vector insert/extract element costs in D74976 resulted in the estimated costs for vector initialization and scalarization increasing higher than should be expected. This is particularly noticeable on pre-SSE4 targets where the available of legal INSERT_VECTOR_ELT ops is more limited.

This patch does 2 things:
1 - it implements X86TTIImpl::getScalarizationOverhead to more accurately represent the typical costs of a ISD::BUILD_VECTOR pattern.
2 - it adds a DemandedElts mask to getScalarizationOverhead to permit the SLP's BoUpSLP::getGatherCost to be rewritten to use it directly instead of accumulating raw vector insertion costs.

This fixes PR45418 where a v4i8 (zext'd to v4i32) was no longer vectorizing.

A future patch should extend X86TTIImpl::getScalarizationOverhead to tweak the EXTRACT_VECTOR_ELT scalarization costs as well.

Reviewed By: @craig.topper

Differential Revision: https://reviews.llvm.org/D78216