[DAG] scalarizeExtractedVectorLoad - replace getABITypeAlign with allowsMemoryAccess (PR45116)

One of the cases identified in PR45116 - we don't need to limit extracted loads to ABI alignment, we can use allowsMemoryAccess - which tests using getABITypeAlign, but also checks if a target permits (fast) misaligned memory loads by checking allowsMisalignedMemoryAccesses as a fallback.

I've also cleaned up the alignment calculation code - if we have a constant extraction index then the alignment can be based on an offset from the original vector load alignment, but for non-constant indices we should assume the worst (single element alignment only).

Differential Revision: https://reviews.llvm.org/D110486