[mlir:JitRunner] Use custom shared library init/destroy functions if available

Use custom mlir runner init/destroy functions to safely init and destroy shared libraries loaded by the JitRunner.

This mechanism is ignored for Windows builds (for now) because init/destroy functions are not exported, and library unloading relies on static destructors.

Re-submit https://reviews.llvm.org/D94270 with a temporary workaround for windows

Differential Revision: https://reviews.llvm.org/D94312